PUSHING UP

Yes, I have failed.

I have failed real bad. It’s time for me to rise high and strong. I have to be rigid and robust all through. I know I am not accepted in the eyes of the society, or the world. Abhorring and loathing all the way. Don’t want to crush myself in the gears of time and tide. Covering myself with the cloak of seclusion and solitude. Making peace with myself and my fate.

Walking beside frustration and grief, making them my only friends in this meticulous world. Sturdy and astute calculations to release myself from this cliched failure. Nothing seems to suffice the ways to escape reality except death. Killing every bit of dreams and aspirations which I held onto, this long. Fear and depression are spreading the cancer inside me gradually, insinuating the polemic literature of my destiny. Taunting every cell, every eon of my life.

Maybe, there is a way. Maybe, I have a better world ahead. Hope is the only thing I have left. Faith lies in the sanctum sanctorum of my soul to release me from these chains.

Help me!

THE CLOCK STRUCK!

Everything seemed dull and devoid of the fun.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck one.

 

Nothing seems to interest me, whatever I do.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck two.

 

I am trapped and I want to fly and be free.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck three.

 

Waiting to see through a new window or a door.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck four.

 

Found a new path and I took a solemn dive.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck five.

 

Cherishing and waiting for my wounds to fix.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck six.

 

Thinking about my life in a peaceful unending heaven.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck seven.

 

Thanking the Gods for such a beautiful fate.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck eight.

 

The relishing elixir which I can demand as mine.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck nine.

 

Remembering the good old times with Uncle Ben.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck ten.

 

Finally my trance dropped down like a leaven.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck eleven.

 

I regained from my HIGH, the reality to delve.

Tick tock tick tock, the clock struck twelve.

CLOSER TO THE HORIZON

The events are conspiring against the utter disrupt of law and balance. Anything may happen next. Our consciousness is always at the verge of a deep fall which may destroy the mere realization of the past and the future. The more this unnerving distress comes closer, the closer I get to the horizon.

What is real is a paradox in the paradigm of the shift in reality. There is no hindrance to the possibilities that may happen in the close proximity of the parallel dimensions. Thoughts shower a kaleidoscope of colors with a tinge of darkness in the prolific flow of light and the consciousness.

There is always a surety in the start and end of life in separate existential spheres, but the transcendence is always unknown and researched upon by varied like minded so called scientists. Yet the truth seems to be so intangible that not a sliver of it has been understood. Man calls out to the appeal of his life in this remorseful world and we end up being a simple damn eulogy in the newspapers.

No end can end the end and no beginning can begin the beginning. This is a continuous cycle of reality that a soul has to undergo to reach closer to the horizon of dark energy and bright stars. Sea full of hopes and aspirations may draw us closer to the web of reality, yet we somehow escape the grudge of this meticulous sting of a bitter past and an uneventful future.

I believe in freedom against all materialistic claws and clutches.

I am just a sensual touch, a silent breeze, a silent smile and a shrieking tear.

I am now closer to the horizon.

I am alive!

WHAT IF I DON’T?

I am promising myself a new day every night

What if I don’t get another, tonight?

I am keeping the things I like up the shelf

What if I don’t get to cherish them ever?

 

I become busy in my life, no time to talk to my parents

What if I don’t have them tomorrow anymore?

I am living little and mechanizing more

What if I don’t exist at all ever on this myriad?

 

I take everything for granted and everyone as it is

What if I don’t get the time back to look closely?

I speed with time and tide through utter chaos

What if I never find true peace in my sordid mind?

 

I have everything I want to ever achieve in life

What if I lose them all at once without mercy?

I whine at every disappointing event happening

What if there is nothing left to happen at all?

 

 

WHAT IF I DON’T?

WHAT IF?

WHAT HAPPENED?

When I was a little kid, I used to play hard, being one with the soil and the grass, getting joy at the little things, embracing the cuts and the injuries, smiling after I lost a match having no regret for it and tossed over the days to wait for another chance to live through the same time again.

What happened to me?

When I was a little kid, I brought in friends at my home, relishing at the fruit squash that my mom made along with them, laughed at the silliest jokes, played around the house and in the backyard, competing over the hand held video game, frowning at the weather for being too sarcastic and went home, tired yet satisfied to our full.

What happened to me?

When I was a little kid, I hovered around the confectioneries to get a chocolate or two from my mom, feeling the joy of sharing with my friends, holding the bat in one hand and a ball in the other, making silly rules of the game, yet enjoyed them, pranks with our friends, finding a coin or a note on the street and sharing it with everybody.

What happened to me?

Yet among all these memories and eventful memoirs, I still grasp with the new and the present, having found peace and solace in the new and rubbing off the old as an eccentric part of our past, transforming emotions into smileys and talks into chats, looking over the shoulder for any interactive life, shutting down the feelings and marrying to the job and losing the subtle way of life for good.

What happened to me?

MOTHER’S DAY: A TRIBUTE!

 

 

 

I fell down, trying to stand up,

You held me up showing me the way.

I cried without implying anything to you,

You understood and cared for me, night and day.

 

I ran all over without having control of my senses.

You cleaned me up, set me fresh and happy.

I made a fuss about everything that I had to do,

You sang to me and changed my soiled nappy.

 

I cried on the first day to school,

You promised me to be there when I came back.

I played all day, not wanting to study at all,

You taught me everything about Jill and Jack!

 

I sprained myself and cried back home,

You nursed me back to health every cut.

I held on to you at night, afraid of the dark,

You told me happy stories about cream and chest nut.

 

I grew up, into my unstable teens,

You taught me to dress well and be smart.

I hurt you with my immature words,

You smiled at me, crying in your heart.

 

I troubled you with all sorts of tension,

You managed everything being at my side.

I lost my interest in life with all the frustrations,

You helped me stand and fight against time and tide.

 

Whenever I am sick and bedridden with a high fever,

You made me warm soup and beautiful bread slices.

Whenever I came back from college in holidays,

You made the best food with your magic spices.

 

Never said thank you to you for your endless care,

But you never asked any emotion in return.

I got angry, aggressive or maybe told to leave me alone,

But MOTHER!, you were there for me in every turn.

 

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!